Grave Confessions
by Luna-Dara
Summary: Summary: Sherlock and Watson go to visit the grave of the patient that died on Watson's operating table. When Watson goes to get coffee, Sherlock has a few things to say. A bit of JoanLock.


Sherlock stood beside the grave. Joan had gone to get them coffees. He stared at the grave and thought. He checked first before speaking to the stone.

"I would just like to say a few words to you. I'm terribly sorry for your lost. I'm sorry that fate had slighted you. She took you away from your wife and son. But in these events Joan may have caused your death unintentionally, but she has also saved a man. A man who was long gone and broken beyond compare. But she stayed with him and fixed him until he was broken no more, until he was alive. I wanted to tell you that because of you she changed careers, convinced that she couldn't pick a scapula without her hands shaking. She switched careers to a sober companion, she wanted to help people. She felt that she could no longer help people as a surgeon anymore. I'm sure that has a sober companion she helped people who were very grateful to her but i don't believe that any of them would be as grateful as me. I didn't want her in my life at first. I was counting down the days for when she would leave. But then she did a most curious thing at the time, she took an interest in my work and slowly - perhaps from being around me so much - she began to see things differently. Not quite like me nor quite Moriarty but like Joan Watson.

"When it was time for her to leave i was facing an...emotional hurdle. I don't like to admit it but I was glad that she stayed with me, making sure that I was okay. I later found out that she was no longer my sober companion but she still stayed. I tried to figure out why she stayed but i couldn't figure out a concrete answer. I had theories that i couldn't test without approaching boundaries, and for a reason I cannot quite figure out i didn't want to push those boundaries, I didn't want to push her away. I offered her a job as my partner, to assist me in solving cases with the NYPD. She accepted and it surprised me a bit. I knew the odds of her accepting were very probable but apparently I still had doubt, that she would say no and leave.

"Despite working together for a while I still couldn't figure out what it is about her. I didn't _need _her, I was very well capable of solving cases myself but I had told her '_I'm better with you,'. _I cannot figure out why it is I am. When the case with Irene made its appearance I was in a turmoil of emotions. Irene was a brilliant woman, her mind is quite like mine and at the same time not quite either. I felt responsible for the supposed state of Irene, believing that I had caused her so much pain. However its because of Joan that I stand here before you, she solved Irene and stopped her from getting away with making millions of dollars. I can honestly say that I was quite impressed by Joan. I understand that it is not typically considered a normal or ideal gesture for -I'm not quite sure what - but I named a new species of bees after her. She seemed fond of the gesture. She smiled that day, at the bees. I suppressed the smile I wanted to give her, not because I'm rude but because I wasn't sure if it was appropriate. After that I concluded that there is a possibility for me to have mixed feelings for Joan. At first i quickly disregarded it, calling it a fluke. Saying to myself that it is just fascination that I have for her. The fact that someone not of like mind thinking quickly developing it. It was very fascinating. But the unknown feeling stayed and I do believe that it has developed.

"I want to say that these feel similar in the fact that I do believe that I have felt these before. When I do stop and think about these feelings I do in fact realize that these are the same feelings I had when I was with Irene. I want to say that I _love _Joan. But to say that alone feels inadequate. I think that I am figuring out why I am better with her. She pushes me to be my best, she looks at me and doesn't see my past but sees a future in me. I would very much like to see a future with Joan. I've thought about telling her before but, the words escape me when I look at her."

Sherlock takes a deep sigh then closes his eyes. He feels a bit of relief washing over him for saying everything that has been on his mind.

"Did you mean that?" Watson asked as she stepped closer to Sherlock handing him a coffee. He quickly looks at her in surprise. He had been so engrossed in his dialogue that he hadn't noticed her arrival. He took the cup and stared at it.

"Yes," he said as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Thank you," Watson said. He was about to ask why but when he turned she kissed him on the lips. She looked surprised as well, perhaps not preparing to kiss him there. They linger for a moment. The surprise fades away from her face and she slowly pulls away. She was a few inches away from his lips. There was a question in the air along with an electrical feel. Sherlock wants to answer this question but isn't quite sure how. He decides to lean forward and gently kiss her back. While they kiss a smile crosses their lips. Joan pulls away and sips at her coffee and turns to leave. Sherlock felt a big relief but at the same time he felt more questions pile up.


End file.
